you can't pay me enough to work tech support

[Tony]

or work as a lower class programmer

stupid programers

and other tech support stories

[Cervantes]

hahaha those things are hilarious!! I love all the ones about people who tried to tell the computer what to do with comments

[AsianSensation]

Quote:

up, _up, up_, Up, uP, UP, _Up, _UP
down, _down, down_, Down, dOWN, DOWN, _Down, _DOWN

and

Quote:

He responded, "Oh, HTML kicks C++'s @$$."

[Cervantes]

* Customer: "I bought your fancy graphics card, and my Windows display is not better than it was before."
* Tech Support: "We had better look at the installation then."
* Customer: "You mean I have to install it?"

The graphics card was still in the box.

[Paul]

Quote:

but in the future she should always keep each floppy in a ZipLoc bag to be sure they don't leak on each other in the future. She was instantly happy and went on her way. I'll make a bet she still keeps her disks in sealed plastic bags.

My favorite

[naoki]

tony i wish i could give you bits because those two links just made my day
the next time i'm suffering from programming pains i'll look at these examples and feel so much better about myself

code:

Back in my first year of school in computer science, we were learning Turbo Pascal. I remember one day looking over the shoulder of a guy who was writing some unreadable code by removing all possible spaces and empty lines. #  Me: "Why are you writing like that -- it's unreadable." # Him: "I want to keep the code compact, so I get maximum speed when I execute the program."

[Maverick]

Quote:

She no longer teaches programming.

[Amailer]

Quote:

# Me: "Nobody over the age of eight uses QBasic for serious purposes."
# Him: "But they made windows with QBasic."

and as posted

Quote:

Back in my first year of school in computer science, we were learning Turbo Pascal. I remember one day looking over the shoulder of a guy who was writing some unreadable code by removing all possible spaces and empty lines.

* Me: "Why are you writing like that -- it's unreadable."
* Him: "I want to keep the code compact, so I get maximum speed when I execute the program."

[Paul]

Quote:

Customer: "What's going to happen to my computer when the year 2000 hits? Will it just not work anymore, or what?"
Tech Support: "Actually, the year 2000 problem is this: it seems most of the computer code up until recently had been written assuming that the first two digits in the year of any date were "19." So basically, some of these applications, when the year 2000 rolls around, will reflect "1900," rather than "2000." Of course, there weren't any computers around in the year 1900, and so your computer will simply disappear."
After looking very concerned for a few seconds and saying nothing, I reassured him I was joking.

Quote:

In 1999, I saw an advertisement for "special" automobile jumper cables that would make your car Y2K-compliant. The ad said you just needed jump-start your car with them using a Y2K-compliant car as the booster, and your car would become Y2K compliant! Of course, they cost twice what "regular" jumper cables cost.

[Catalyst]

code:

public int convertItoi(Integer v) {     if (v.intValue()==1) return 1;     if (v.intValue()==2) return 2;     if (v.intValue()==3) return 3;     if (v.intValue()==4) return 4;     if (v.intValue()==5) return 5;     if (v.intValue()==6) return 6;     if (v.intValue()==7) return 7;     return 0; }

[templest]

Quote:

When I was studying programming, one of my classmates was having serious troubles with his program. When he asked me for help, I leaned over his screen and saw all of his code in comments. The reason: "Well, it compiles much faster that way."

How are these people even let in the schools!?

[SuperGenius]

man, these people need to grow a brain.