I graduated, but should I stay in this field?

[hotwire]

I have a degree in computer science from Waterloo. The problem is, I don't feel passionate about it. It's tolerable, I guess, but I've read enough to know I?ll never compete with someone who loves to code for fun.

Don?t get me wrong, I was never one of those who wanted to go into a program for the money. I was never one of those who knew what they wanted to do since they were little either, but I did think math and computers was what I was most interested in by the end of high school. I made it my goal to be interested in what I was studying. But deep down I was just hiding the fact that I didn?t care about tracing pointers through a stack, or reading Slashdot, or the difference between Vim and Emacs. I got above average marks, but I often did worse on the programming parts and spent more time than most, and even though I know it?s immoral, I often studied for the exam and forgot it afterwards.

What?s even worse is that although I went through co-op, I?m still absolutely clueless about what to do for a career. I feel my co-op experience was for the most part sub-optimal, but it was my fault because usually I didn?t even know what to apply for. I often just did it randomly. Maybe it was because I felt under-qualified for almost everything. Looking at a job description made me feel queasy. Even today I still don?t know what to do besides being a robot mass emailing resumes.

It may be that I?m not motivated by any white-collar job to begin with. I don?t want to be rich. Sure I need to feed myself, but other than that I don?t feel an intrinsic meaning in a job. It feels like, I?m getting paid and I?m doing something to make my boss/company richer. I also find the idea of ?networking? and kissing your boss? ass so that one day you?ll be higher up the ?corporate ladder? very disconcerting.

It also could be that I don't find technology that exciting anymore. I feel a lot of the stuff this decade is invasive rather than helpful, like social networking sites or the need to get an IPhone/Blackberry/etc.

I should add that I like some parts of CS better than others ? I hated OS and low-level stuff, but I?m better with high-level programming. I took graphics ? my project was an epic fail, but I did well enough on the assignments to pull through. I?d also say I like math better than CS ? I did the BMath. But it?s not like it wakes me up in the morning either.

Right now I want to get off my lazy ass and start learning all the languages on this website, but I feel like I'm forcing myself. Honestly, I don?t know what else I can do for my career, if I even have one, so maybe this is the best I can do.

Thanks for any suggestions.

[rizzix]

Try creating a game or anything that even remotely interests you; then you'll have a better idea on what you want to do.

Computer Science is a wide field.

[jbking]

Let's back this up for a moment.... What do you like to do? What are you good at doing? These are the questions you haven't answered as there are most likely dozens of different jobs within an Information Technology realm, many of them requiring no knowledge of programming languages.

I'm a developer because I like solving problems/puzzles and getting thanks when I finish something at work. It isn't that I just can't wait to get to work, but I do feel that I'm better than most when it comes to having a good work environment.

[[Gandalf]]

I know what you mean, hotwire, I sometimes feel the same way. However, I find it helpful to go back to what you find interesting, what got you interested in computer science originally, and anything you've discovered along the way. Simple advice, I know, but frankly ignore the things that demotivate you (Obviously, keep a broad perspective, learn what you can, etc. Just don't concern yourself with it too much.) and get some focus.

[Prabhakar Ragde]

hotwire: A lot of the things you are listing as potential negatives I see as positives. Not interested in reading Slashdot? Don't want to define yourself by your job and climb the corporate ladder? Think recent technologies are intrusive? You're showing an awareness that too many in the field lack.

CS is too narrowly defined in general, and it's not about learning yet another programming language. It's supposed to be about helping people via computation. To that end, maybe you can find a way to put your knowledge in the service of helping others, and extend it in ways that are suggested by the needs of that effort. There are nonprofits, NGOs, social organizations that can use your talents. You'll find people who are concerned with building community and working together in a positive fashion. Yes, you'll have to live modestly, but you'll be making a difference, and you'll feel better about yourself.

[ecookman]

If you have given up on coding...Open your own computer store and make sure people know you can fix computers. Or shoot off a resume to Dell or Intel.

[gianni]

If the corporate ladder isn't where you belong, perhaps you'd be much better off creating your own startup. Something that's truly your own that you can grow from the ground-up. This way you can do as you please, for example, if you don't enjoy development perhaps you work on the business aspect of the startup, etc... The key, as others have mentioned, is that you find something that you enjoy - bonus points if you're good at it too.

[McKenzie]

hotwire, your lack of passion is going to be your biggest problem not your lack of skill. You've graduated from Waterloo so potential employers know that you are smart enough, and are willing to work hard enough to do the job. Not every CS job out there is programming heavy. A friend of mine never cared for programming, she started working for IBM in 95. After a few years of hard work she had advanced to a management position where her job no longer involved her doing any coding. Now she spends a lot of time talking to clients, organizing training for new systems and looking at the big picture.

You don't need to know every language that's out there. You need to focus. You need to stop comparing yourself to other students in your graduating class and focus on yourself. Find what you like and try to do more of it.

[hotwire]

Thanks to all. I just found a job (programming related). I'm no longer feeling so bad about myself. I think when I posted the thread I was mostly frustrated at my lack of a job, but I should be off to a good start now even if I change directions later. I think I still appreciate the concepts of CS and can handle programming, at least at a high level.

jbking - I don't know if there's something else I'd rather do. I like looking at maps and drawing my own sometimes. But really, I think I'm fine with programming. I think it's mostly because sometimes a language or API is less common (or my research skills are bad) and I spend more time Googling than coding to the point that I can never find it, or if it's hard to test something. In fact I think I'm cool with learning new languages. I guess I'm just thinking to myself, "sure I can learn pHp and Python, but isn't that just something a company decides to use instead of Java. What's so special about it?"

[jbking]

Why a company chooses to use certain technologies is a good question to ask and sometimes the answer may be rather surprising like "Well, we just use whatever Microsoft sells," for example. There may not be a good rhyme or reason for things is what I have often found. Sometimes if there is a small IT department or product development group developing software, they may do their own thing which can be good or bad depending on how you want to look at it.

My reason for pointing out the question about programming is that you could be a Business Analyst, Quality Analyst, Project Manager or System Administrator with little technical knowledge of a programming languages and these are fine career choices if you want to do something other than write code. There are many different roles within IT so don't think you have to fit something as I've found there is enough variety that you might be able to find something that fits you and is shaped by what you want.