Unix Humor

[apomb]

I was searching for some Linux/Unix documentation when i came across this:

Unix Humor wrote:

NOTE :

% => user must run C- Shell (csh).
$ => user must run Bourne-Shell (sh).

% who is my match?
No match.

% got a light?
No match.

% "How would you rate Reagan's incompetence?
Unmatched ".

% 'thou shalt not commit adultery'
thou shalt not commit adultery: Command not found.

% [Where is Jimmy Hoffa?
Missing ].

% ^What is saccharine?
Bad substitute.

% ^How did the^sex change operation go?
Modifier failed.

% %Vice-President
%Vice-President: No such job.

% \(-
(-: Command not found.

% date me
You are not superuser: date not set
Thu Aug 25 15:52:30 PDT 1988

% make bottle.open
Make: Don't know how to make bottle.open. Stop.

% make 'heads or tails of all this'
Make: Don't know how to make heads or tails of all this. Stop.

% make light
Make: Don't know how to make light. Stop.

% make mistake
Make: Don't know how to make mistake. Stop.

% make sense
Make: Don't know how to make sense. Stop.

% man: why did you get a divorce?
man:: Too many arguments.

% ar m God
ar: God does not exist

% rm God
rm: God nonexistent

% rm -i God
rm: remove God? y
% ls God
God not found

% * How would you describe George Bush
*: Ambiguous.

% set i="Democratic_Platform";mkdir $i;chmod 000 $i;ls $i
Democratic_Platform unreadable

% awk "Polly, the ship is sinking"
awk: syntax error near line 1
awk: bailing out near line

$ PATH=pretending! /usr/ucb/which sense
no sense in pretending!

$ drink matter
matter: cannot create

$ "Amelia Earhart"
Amelia Earhart: not found

$ man -kisses dog
dog: nothing appropriate

$ lost
lost: not found

% sccs what bottle
can't open bottle (26)

$ cat "door: paws too slippery"
can't open door: paws too slippery

$ cat food_in_tin_cans
cat: can't open food_in_tin_cans

Quite hilarious ... even if you dont know that much about the OS.