LKF about My CompSci teacher OTD (get permission to post)

[naoki]

Note to mods and whomever: please don't post any comments like, "omfg naoki this topic sux", or even stuff like "lol that was funny". let's just keep the messages all about our comp sci teacher.

Little known fact: my comp sci teacher was once abducted by aliens. He was captured outside his house one night while having a smoke. Though afraid, he single-handedly managed to fight off an entire civilization and escaped by befriending a robot plane.

please keep all messages similar to my "little known fact". Comments AREN'T appreciated.


Mod Edit:
All comments will now be moved from this sacred thread
If you have something about Ronald Mickey, ask me at school for permission

[naoki]

Little Known Fact OTD (of the day): my comp sci teacher originated the smiley. When young, he worked at a hospital when he met an unfortunate fellow. This man had been scared by a chemical waste accident, which turned his skin yellow and removed all facial hair. It also gave him the uncanny ability to change his face in order to express his emotions (you see that devil face? he could do that). Thus, my teacher, when collaborating with Al Gore to make the Internet, decided to implement these "smilies" as a tribute to the fellow.

Little Known Fact #2: Al Gore mentioned that when he thought up the Internet (cuz we all know it was him ), he mentioned a secret collaborator called Mr. Mickey. That was my comp sci teacher

[naoki]

Update

Little Known Fact OTD: my comp sci teacher was once recruited by the government to test out their new time machine in the 1970's. Upon his first visit, he wound up in 1660, where he met the discoverer of static electricity, Otto von Guericke.

The man had invented a brilliant device to generate static electricity. He showed it to my comp sci teacher, who merely laughed and told him to pick up a balloon (uhh, let's assume they existed back in those days). He rubbed the inflated balloon across his long luxurious hair, and stuck it on a wall. Otto was shocked and amazed, and because of such a simple experiment, went crazy in a matter of days, killing his family in a static explosion.

My comp sci teacher realized how much he affected history, and swore off long hair forever. Until this day, if his hair is any longer than 2 cm, he gets it shaved/burned/rubbed with a stone.

[Dauntless]

Wh4T????///
NaOkI, j00 r teh suXX0r2!!!1

Having done what you didn't want me to do, allow me to digress;

Another little-known fact about R. Mickey....

Turns out that Mr. Mickey was once the sidekick for Batman until that little Robin character came out....I guess the producers decided there was no place for an overweight guy with a massive frohawk on the show anymore. Well, at least he's come a long way since those days, cuz the head is shaved and he's down to a more human weight.

Chew on that, guys.

-------------------------------------------------------

void binaryTree ()
{
cout << " 000";
cout << "0000";
cout << " 000";
cout << " 11";
cout << " 11";

//Yeah, I'm a great compsci student.
}

[naoki]

Little Known Fact OTD: My comp sci teacher once modelled for Gucci. Perhaps you have heard of him, "Ronaldo Mcklienzo"? Damn right, he was big huh? All it took was a mere glance from the Gucci recruit to choose him. He was amazing. My teacher appeared in all the mag covers, and Time called him "Man of the Year". He would program and model by day, and at night would the clubs and take X. Life was good, and his Tetris clone was error-free.

It was all until one day. He was walking along the aisle, showing off the latest jean fashion, when some drool on the runway, left by an adoring female, caused him to slip when spinning in place. He fell, and crash landed on 2 reporters. The media was all over him: sex scandals, tax evasion, grand theft auto, stealing an old lady's purse. He soon realized that with all these scandals, he could no longer spread the joy of his body.

Thus he retired. He took his fame, his fortune, his physique, and moved to Windsor. Though he had to give up his love of showing off the body, he could at least concentrate on computer science.

Next: the true secret behind his diabetes

[Dauntless]

Dauntless back... I can't let Naoki get all the good stuff, I need to riposte to that...

LKF OTD by Dauntless:

So you know that Ronaldo was a model, but did you know that he started a fashion revolution, many of them in fact? Yeah, the mesh-back hat, the skinny tie, the yo-yo.... He was also the voice of many of the characters in the cartoon series Pokemon, and held a steady job as Tuxedo Mask and Sailor Jupiter in the popular Japanese import Sailor moon.

He also invented Scandinavia after his Batman sidekick days as the FroHawk.

P.S. The "secret behind his diabetes" better be tasteful, cuz that's not really funny.

[naoki]

Little Known Fact OTD: now it's time for the story you've all been waiting for: how my comp sci teacher came to have diabetes.

Of course, as all his students know, he's a brilliant programmer. He can do pseudo-code, comments, binary trees, output to data file ... anything you want. But how did he come about to having this skill?

As we all know, the gods use a RSG (random skill generator) to allocate points to a person when he/she is born. The comp sci god, Johnny Carmack, dynamically allocated 1500 programming points to my teacher.

Thus my teacher went through life, brilliantly understanding COBOL, FORTRAN, C, BASIC. All was well, until one day, the master God (name removed for the sake of extremists), was doing a routine check and found that my comp sci teacher had too many points. He thus came down to Earth, and approached my teacher, saying that he is forced to kill my teacher in order to spread the points equally among the less fortunate.

Of course, my teacher rejected this "offer", and argued that kids nowadays care less about the science than the damn games that result. God understood, but argued that the kids should at least be given some shred of talent. Thus they pondered together, and God killed revolutionists during this time to cure his boredom. At last, he came up with an idea: by drawing blood from my teacher at intervals, he could convert some of those points and give them to needy children. My comp sci teacher then came up with the idea that it was his "sugar" level that required him to draw blood, not a twisted deal with God.

Thus, that little machine that draws his blood isn't a monitor, but rather a Godly creation to give stupid little children the ability to draw lines in loop.

[naoki]

A little one for the road: Remember that blackout in August? Did anybody ever find out the real answer to why that happened? I didn't think so.

The truth is (as all of you can guess), my comp sci teacher did it. He was using those neat muscle stimulators promoted by that small Chinese man and was working on upgrading his abs. He was already at such a level that he had to mod it by connecting it to a generator in order for more muscle zappage. As you can tell, his new setting of "Lightning Bolt" was kinda high, and killed all the powerlines for hundreds of miles.

PS: rock hard abs baby

[naoki]

Little Known Fact OTD: my teacher is an exceptional Magic: TG player. His deck is almost undefeatable. Yet, when I mention to him about YGO, he becomes quiet, sometimes even angry with him. With a little digging around, I was able to uncover the reason why.

Years before YGO became mainstream, the creator was a struggling game developer, unable to make a new game on his own. One night, he had finally come up with an idea: a card game based on Egyptian characters. He thought his idea was brilliant, and went around asking other people's opinions. While his friends and family wholeheartedly agreed, he decided he would need a tester to imitate the overseas markets (we're so easy to fool ). By coincidence, my comp sci teacher was in Japan for a sushi eating tournament and a karate tournament (word has it that when he travelled back in time he wound up in Japan, where he learned Shotokan Karate from its original creator).

While shopping for some good kimonos, my comp sci teacher accidentally ran into the creator of YGO. The creator immediately asked if my teacher enjoyed card games, and my teacher agreed vehemently. He invited my teacher over to his apartment, and asked for his advice on a new game he was developing which would be better than anything my teacher had played before. Agreeing, they set off to his apartment.

All night they played the game, my comp sci teacher enjoying the freshness of the game albeit its resemblence to Magic and Marvel. There were certain bugs with the game that he couldn't get over. He then suggested several adjustments to the game, which infuriated the creator. He screamed at my teacher, calling him an idiot, a man who didn't know a good deck if it hit him. He kicked my teacher out, and huddled around his masterpiece, sobbing sadly .......

A few months later, my teacher was back in Canada, reading a japanese magazine (he likes the funny products) and spied a feature article with the creator. The creator was bragging about his genius, about his long hours of testing and careful planning of the game. The reporter could only gush fountains of praise, saying that the creator had already made millions. At the bottom, was a list of rules of the guy's new game: Yu Gi Oh. Originally, my teacher was glad for him, though he was snappy to him, he was still a gamer. But after reading the rules at the bottom, my teacher quickly changed his demeanor, because he had realized that the creator had stolen all of his ideas! No credit was given, no money was handed out, not even a damn apology for his attitude. That creator was a liar and an angry bastard, because word for word, every single suggestion my comp sci teacher made to improve the game had been copied and implanted into the game.

After that, my teacher swore to himself that he would never play YGO even if it dwarfed Magic's popularity.

[naoki]

Aight, the admin's have convinced me to continue, regardless of whether they're just razzing me on.

Note: the following fact contains information relating to King of Fighter's. Though I'm not sure how many users are Asian, I'll still write it, even though it may only be for Azn_Sensation's eye's.

Little Known Fact OTD: my comp sci teacher once competed in the King of Fighter's tournament. This tournament, held by the evil crimelord Geese, was used to determine his greatest threats and allow him to promptly dispose of them. This tournament was also held before team fighting was allowed.

My comp sci teacher was a martial artist before he was a time-traveller, game designer or runway model. He trained at the Kusanagi dojo in Japan, learning to harness their Kusanagi flame, which burned greater when the user was pure of heart. Having beaten the lame Kyo (whom I still think Iori rapes totally), he was chosen by the master to represent the dojo in the KOF tournament. Thus, he slung on his jacket, fighting gloves, and headband, and headed out.

In the tournament, nobody could stand in my teacher's way. Direct attackers were met with an Aragami chain; even if the opponent tried mixing up their attack, my comp sci teacher would merely switch up: high, low, kick attacks decimated the people. Any TKD masters (though they rock too) attacking from the air would be met with an Oniyaki, the flames from his fist burning everything. An unlucky turtler would see for one second my teacher standing, then the next being caught in his hand and ignited by a Shiki Kototuki Yuu. Not even the crazy psychic girl could stop my comp sci teacher. Thus, he blew past the competition and faced the boss.

This battle would prove deadly for one of them; my teacher would not let it be him. However, he underestimated the skills of Geese: years of training on his own allowed him to develop counters for any move, as well as a double projectile, and his deadliest move, the Raging Storm. The battle commenced, and my teacher was quickly dominated. A high attack RED kick would be countered; a low sweep would be blocked. A foolishly flung Aragami would be answered by a painful Double Reppuken. When my teacher dashed in to perform an Oniyaki, Geese would step back, and seeing my defenseless teacher in the air, would raise up his arms, and, ripping the very air surrounding him, create energy waves of pure force, and crush my teacher.

Soon, my comp sci teacher lay on the ground. Geese began to taunt him, calling his dojo worthless and the master a fraud. He said after winning the tourney he would destroy it with his thugs and open a McDonald's there. Geese stood back, and laughed, for he believed nothing could best him.

My teacher could no longer stand it. He stood up, and held out his hand. A small flame emerged, and as it did, the eyes of my teacher began to burn with rage and renewed vigor. He began to scream, and as he did, his jacket and bandanna burned away, his body now engulfed in the Kusanagi flames. Geese stopped laughing, for he saw that this was a power few, like him, had. He became angry instantly, and rushed in for an attack. My teacher, sensing his power had come to its limit, unleashed the greatest move of the Kusanagi clan: the SDM Orochinagi. Geese, getting close enough, ripped the air again, with a force of a tidal wave, and created his Raging Storm. The waves of the Storm engulfed my teacher, and for a moment Geese smiled, for he believed that his power had overcome my comp sci teacher. But as he looked up, he saw a small flame appear, then a much larger one behind it. He saw, with wide eyes, that my comp sci teacher was still rushing forward, his eyes the brightest burning of all the fires. Geese knew it was too late: his body was burned and beaten by the torrent of flames erupting from my teacher.

The battle over, my teacher allowed two young children, Andy and Terry Bogard, to claim the glory, for they had plans to clean up Geese's former empire, and my teacher only wanted to program after this. This was how he won a KOF tourney.

If anybody likes my true accounts of my teacher's life, feel free to donate some bits

[AsianSensation]

Little Known Fact about my Compsci Teacher: My CompSci teacher is actually oriental of descent.

What made me suspicious about Mr. Mickey's origin was due to a purely coincidental situation. One day, he dominated all of his opposition (of which were composed of several of Massey's top-notch starcraft players) in less than 10 minutes, and sent them home crying to mother. It was this amazing ability of mouse clicking and keyboard control that made me realize Mr. Mickey was not what he appears to be. Because only Korean or Hong Kong teenagers who does not go to school could pulverize their opponents in that specific manner. So in order for me to investigate about this strange phenomenon, I bided my time until further signs were shown.

Later in the week, me and naoki found Mr. Mickey fervently reading from a book during our computer science class. We sneaked behind him to get a closer look at what could possibly interest him more than teaching us about binary trees. Imagine our surprise when me found him diligently learning from a grade 9 mathematics textbook! That's when it suddenly hit me! Mr. Mickey must be Chinesy!* For only a person with slanted eyes could be thus stimulated by the knowledge mathematics has to offer. It all makes sense now. Mr. Mickey's awesomeness at computer science, Mr. Mickey's uncanny ability in the art of Starcraft, and now, Mr. Mickey's interest in mathematics. These evidence definitely points to the Oriental background of my CompSci teacher.

There was still one question that is bothering me, how is it that Mr. Mickey appears like any normal Caucasian to everyone? Well, after some intensive background research, I found out that my CompSci teacher is actually a very good friend of one Mr. Michael Jackson. Apparently, Mr. Jackson met my teacher at an anime convention. After seeing the incredible dancing skills my teacher displayed when playing Dance Dance Revolution, Mr. Jackson immediately signed my teacher as a backup dancer to the Jackson Five. Remember Tito? Well, that was actually my teacher with a wig and some very heavy make-up.

When Mr. Jackson contracted that disease, my teacher, being a very good friend that he is, volunteered to whiten the tone of his skin in order to help Michael through his period of uneasiness. Days after days would my teacher take Melanin reducing pills to reduce the color of his epidermis. Plastic surgeries were done many times to remove the slantedness of his eyes. Muscle stimulators were used to give him his now buff physique. Too bad laser eye surgeries were not easily accessed back then, causing it to inhibit Mr. Mickey's attempt of getting rid of his glasses.

And this is the account on how my CompSci teacher tried to alter his natural origin. Remember sir, history will always come back to haunt you. You can run, but you can't hide.

*Click this link for the full definition of Chinesy http://www.compsci.ca/v2/viewtopic.php?t=2321

[Andy]

Little Known Fact about my Compsci Teacher

my compsci teacher, R. Mickey is 100% against money maps and illegal copies of the famous game StarCraft.Being a gamer, i first found that hard to belive? after consulting azn about his true history, i became even more suspicious. how on earth could a psycho azn gamer not burn games and play cheap maps? so after some intensive googling, i finally digged up enough info to satisfy my curiousity. have any of you seen the beta version of starcraft? the flying drones, flying scvs, humongus battle cruisers, walking science vessles, ugly looking overlords, and bad ass marines. Although screen shots and copies of the game still exist, the credits were nearly impossible to find. However, me, being an ultimate googler, got hold of a copy of it and instantly everything made sense to me. On the second line, in white text black back, was printed as such: Head Programmer: R. Mickey. quickly, i poped in my own starcraft cd and went to the credit of the released version. guess what? his name wasnt even in it! quickly, i googled his name and found nothing but horror. It turns out that my compsci teacher was the main programmer for Blizzards. he created all the cool maps like BGH and practically programmed the whole game single handed. Although skilled, he never learned direct X, so when blizzard decided to change the entire game to 3D, he was fired... direct X was what made him loose his job, yet he still refused to learn it. finally he stumbled upon a job that did not require such knowlege and became our compsci teacher...

[naoki]

Jebus, I'm gonna break my own damn rule. Dodge, if you're gonna post, at least make it legible. Paragraphs, and a spell check, are your friend.

Little Known Fact OTN (night): my comp sci teacher can slay demons. How? Video games. Demons nowadays are very hip to computers, and they often seek prey by playing games online. My teacher challenges them to bridge, Starcraft, or even GSbot (pokemon online), and after beating them, punches through the celestial monitor and grabs the demon. He then throws them into his demon box, which was blessed by a 100 virgins (not virgins after ), and is a direct portal back to the netherworld.

[Dauntless]

Oh man. Let's hope Mr. Mickey doesn't read about how 100 virgins were deflowered. On second hand...how about we tell that story.

LKF OTD/N: 100 Virgins - Not enough

This factual account is actually more modern than any of the other ones, because of this topic, actually. You see, every femme in compsci at Massey reads this topic; naturally, every single femme in compsci at Massey is also a voluptuous, desirable ba/be virgin. The other day he was surrounded by these ba/bealicious admirers, hackin Tao Tao's home computer.

Last week, during the double-period we had because of midterms, Mr. Mickey stopped writing on his chalkboard (something about C plus something....whatever that is.) and said "Hey guys, you wanna see what I do at home?"

Naturally, everyone was intrigued. So he goes over to the computer in the corner, and everyone realizes that they've never seen anyone use it before. So he pulls out the chair, takes his chalk, and draws a pentagram around it. He goes to the little cupboard he has behind his desk and pulls out a riveted black stone box. It's got all kinds of Jewish symbols on it....whatever. So he takes the box, and he sits down. He boots up the computer; everyone feels the heat as the computer starts up at a speed that makes Mandrique Leng look like a snail. Anyways. He signs on to his internet gaming league, Battle.not. He goes to a subgroup called "Demons". Now everyone's like, "WTF, sir?" Their words exactly. He finds a game, and Starcraft comes up.

To everyone's disbelief, he plays on a money map, BGH. They begin to protest as he spawns like 20 Drones. Barely 5 minutes later, his Hive count is up to around 12, and he swarms his opponent with Zerglings. All 7 of his opponents go down like cheap ho's, and the game goes to the victory screen. Then, what everybody least expects happens. He makes like he's going to punch the monitor, which nobody really gets, cuz he won, right? The monitor's glass yields and ripples like quicksilver as his hand passes through it, and right before our eyes The Honourable R. Mickey pulls a demon through the monitor. Everybodys all like "Shit, son" and Mr. Mickey's like "Word up, mofizzles." He sticks it in his black stone box and shuts the lid, grinning. Everybody cheers and he is smothered by a crush of students all around him, alternately kissing his shoes and his rings (one of the rings is from SuperBowl XVII).

Suddenly, the demon breaks loose from the box in a cacophony of noise. The roar terrifies everyone, but they calm down when they see it means them no harm. We watched as the demon stomped down the hall and exited the school, heading for the Tim Horton's near our school.
Mr Mickey's like, "Oh, I guess I need to revirginize my demon box." And all our tudent's volunteered, and even some of the guys.

When all the virges submitted their virgin essence to the box, I was like "Alright, now the virges need to be devirginized, cuz Mr. Mickey says it needs to be so." So Hong Son goes and takes the flock to the janitor's closet (which by the way is half the size of our gymnasium, the north one). He comes back out, hair not even the slightest bit disheveled, and says to me "Did Mr. Mickey really tell me to do that?" And I say "No, I just wanted to see if you'd do it. Gotcha." Hong just shrugged and went to Home Ec. class.

*****Note: Due to the censoring program on my home computer, I had to substitute for the following words:
Femme = Fem/ale
Virge = Vir/gin

I will replace these with the actual words when I get to school tomorrow.

[naoki]

EDIT: changed a few facts, with some help from my comp sci teacher.

Little Known Fact OTD: Have you heard of the Rainbow Six? An elite counter-terrorist squad who use violence to end violence. Well, when my my comp sci teacher was travelling in Africa to take pictures for National Geographic (more on this later), he actually stumbled upon a mission. Although he should've been killed for having seen the squad, he was instead captured and brought to the UN. Immediately, and almost anime-like in their stupidity, the UN enlisted him and forced him to be the Gold Team leader, despite his age and absolute lack of experience, compared to the mercenaries and weapons experts in the team.

His first, and last mission would be to infiltrate the base of a druglord by the name of Eduardo Menendez. Despite his inexperience, my comp sci teacher felt he should at least put up a good fight before he died. So, my comp sci teacher, preparing for his mission, chose a Desert Eagle, FN P90 and Frag grenades. Little did he know that his later interview with a game designer would result in his weapon choice THE set-up for Counter strike.

Though many people in CS tend to discredit gamers who use wall-hacks because it makes the game unnatural, there is in real life a wall-hack option. It's called a rocket launcher. A devastating blast from the rocket would be enough to topple the strongest of walls and kill whomever was behind one. At a rendezvous point, one soldier allowed his helmet to appear above a wall. My teacher was talking when he suddenly heard a loud hiss coming from behind the wall. Sensing that water kettles don't usually appear in a battlefield, he screamed for them to scatter, but it was too late: 2 men were caught in the blast and instantly "fragged". My teacher shook his fist at them, calling them "ghey" and "camping fags", but they only ran off, not before planting a flag in their camping spot declaring Gold Team "noobs".

Through hard work and some moves learned from John Woo movies, my teacher was able to sneak his men into the main hallway leading to the druglord. There, they met 3 sentinels located in the middle of the hallway. The robots sensed their presence through their heat vision, and opened fire, spraying hundreds of bullets from their arm-mounted Uzi's in seconds. One soldier attempted to misguide their fire by tossing a rock across the room, but the robots had such advanced AI (AMD's baby), they traced the trajectory back to its starting position and delivered a head shot to the poor man.

This was, of course, where my brilliant teacher stepped in and displayed the one skill which the others lacked: programming. Taking out his laptop, he initiated a little program he was working on, called "Windows 95" (later selling it to that 2-bit hack Gates), which, when loaded into the robot's computer, would crash the robot and destroy all usable files. My comp sci teacher appeared from behind a wall while his teammates provided cover fire, and ran towards the three robots. The robots opened fire on my teacher, but he gracefully dodged the bullets by running on the right hand wall. Running past them, he leapt into the air, and threw 3 Serial cables into the exposed backs. The OS instantly began to work, it's buggy construction destroying all the DLL files inside the robots. Soon their face monitors displayed the Blue Screen of Death, and they slumped to the floor.

They came up to the door of the druglord's room. Unlocking it with some ingenious C++ coding, they stepped inside to find themselves in a massive warehouse. Suddenly, the lights went out, and they saw little red lasers moving around. Ducking behind some crates, Gold Team saw that there were at least 30 guards in the room. However, some well placed shots by snipers had killed or injured most of my teacher's teammates (double kills abound). They all turned to him, the Gold Leader, for help, and my comp sci teacher knew there was no way they'd get out alive if he didn't step up. Pulling a Neo, he destroyed the group in 20 mins was pure havoc, as he leapt across walls, jumped from level to level, all the while double-gunning the opposition. When the ammo was running low, he would flip behind a guard's body and snap his neck, all the while using him as a shield, then take the enemy's gun for himself. Once when he was being chased, he kicked a table into the air and did a flying back kick, sending the table crashing into the 6 guards behind him. Another amazing feat occured when he supposedly disappeared from sight, and when a group of guards were entering a doorway to check, he swung down from above and blasted them away, having done the splits to support his body on 2 beams and flipping down.

With all 30 bodies lying in bloody heaps, he walked back to his injured comrades and transported them one by one to a safe room, where they called for pick-up and back-up. The operator told them support would arrive in 20 minutes. The second in command told my teacher that they should just forget about the druglord and hide in this room, but my teacher was unable to accept that. He had to finish the job, he had to see Eduardo dead.

Next topic: how he defeated the druglord mano-a-mano