Vista "code" ...

[Shah-Cuber]

One of my friends showed me this a few days ago, and I thought it was pretty funny, in fact, I am still laughing
Thought I might share it with you guys ... you'll get a kick out of it =P
It's the "code" for Windows Vista ... (Yes, i am one of those people who hates Vista...)
Enjoy!



As you can see, this is an endless supply of jokes
Good for those who are suffering from summer boredom ... like me

[rdrake]

This "joke" is horribly old and keeps getting less and less clever/funny with every new release. Here are just a few of the tons of variations on it.

Brownie points to the person that finds the horribly funny typo that makes the author look like an idiot.

Windows XP:

c++:

/* Source Code - Windows XP */ #include "win31.h" #include "win95.h" #include "win98.h" #include "workst~1.h" #include "evenmore.h" #include "oldstuff.h" #include "billrulz.h" #include "monopoly.h" #include "backdoor.h" #define INSTALL = HARD char make_prog_look_big(16000000); void main() {   while(!CRASHED)   {     display_copyright_message();     display_bill_rules_message();     do_nothing_loop();     if (first_time_installation)       {       make_100_megabyte_swapfile();       do_nothing_loop();       totally_screw_up_HPFS_file_system();       search_and_destroy_the_rest_of-OS2();       make_futile_attempt_to_damage_Linux();       disable_Netscape();       disable_RealPlayer();       disable_Lotus_Products();       hang_system();       } //if     write_something(anything);     display_copyright_message();     do_nothing_loop();     do_some_stuff();     if (still_not_crashed)     {     display_copyright_message();     do_nothing_loop();     basically_run_windows_31();     do_nothing_loop();     } // if   } //while   if (detect_cache())     disable_cache();   if (fast_cpu())     {     set_wait_states(lots);     set_mouse(speed,very_slow);     set_mouse(action,jumpy);     set_mouse(reaction,sometimes);     } //if   /* printf("Welcome to Windows 3.1");    */   /* printf("Welcome to Windows 3.11");   */   /* printf("Welcome to Windows 95");     */   /* printf("Welcome to Windows NT 3.0"); */   /* printf("Welcome to Windows 98");     */   /* printf("Welcome to Windows NT 4.0"); */   printf("Welcome to Windows XP");   if (system_ok())     crash(to_dos_prompt)   else     system_memory = open("a:\swp0001.swp",O_CREATE);   while(something)     {     sleep(5);     get_user_input();     sleep(5);     act_on_user_input();     sleep(5);     } // while   create_general_protection_fault(); } // main

Alternatively:

c++:

#include <windows.h> #include <system_errors.h> #include <stdlib.h> char make_prog_look_big[1600000]; main() { if (detect_cache()) disable_cache(); if (fast_cpu()) set_wait_states(lots); set_mouse(speed, very_slow); set_mouse(action, jumpy); set_mouse(reaction, sometimes); printf("Welcome to Windoze 3.999 (we might get it right \ or just call it Chicargo)\n"); if (system_ok()) crash(to_dos_prompt); else system_memory = open("a:\swp0001.swp", O_CREATE); while(1) { sleep(5); get_user_input(); sleep(5); act_on_user_input(); sleep(5); if (rand() < 0.9) crash(complete_system); } return(unrecoverable_system);

Windows ME:

c++:

***********************************************************************         Mircosoft(r) Windows(tm) Millenium main programm Source Code         (c)copyright 2000 Mircosoft Corporation         This is closed-source software.  ***********************************************************************/               #include "win30.h"             #include "win95.h"             #include "win98.h"             #include "winme.h"             #include "winnt40.h"             #include "winnt50.h"             #include "evenmore.h"             #include "oldstuff.h"             #include "billrulz.h"             #include "monopoly.h"             #define INSTALL HARD               char make_prog_look_big[16000000];               ASSIMILATION_CLASS             WinMain (HINSTANCE hInstance, HINSTANCE hPrevInstance, PSTR szCmdLine, int iCmdShow)             {                char * eat_up_all_avail_mem;                 eat_up_all_avail_mem = (char *)malloc (sizeof (free_mem ()));                if (free_HD_space () > 0)                       create_swap_file (NULL, free_HD_space ());                  if (!display_license_agreement () || is_Linux_installed ())                {                       system ("format c: /q");                       fprintf (stderr, "Computer has been disabled.");                       exit (0);                }                while (!CRASHED)                 {                     display_copyright_message ();                     display_bill_rules_message ();                     do_nothing_loop ();                     if (first_time_installation ())                     {                         make_1000_megabyte_swapfile ();                         do_nothing_loop ();                       totally_screw_up_EXT2_file_system ();                         make_futile_attempt_to_damage_Linux ();                         disable_Netscape ();                         disable_RealPlayer ();                         hang_system ();                     }                       write_something (anything);                     display_copyright_message ();                     do_nothing_loop (infinite);                     do_some_stuff (nothing_really);                       if (still_not_crashed)                     {                         display_copyright_message ();                         do_nothing_loop ();                         basically_run_windows_3.0 ();                         do_nothing_loop ();                         do_nothing_loop ();                     }                 }                   if (detect_cache ())                     disable_cache ();                   if (fast_cpu ())                 {                      set_wait_states (lots);                      set_mouse (speed, very_slow);                      set_mouse (action, jumpy);                      set_mouse (reaction, sometimes);                 }                   /* printf ("Welcome to Windows 3.1");    */                 /* printf ("Welcome to Windows 3.11");   */                 /* printf ("Welcome to Windows 95");     */                 /* printf ("Welcome to Windows NT 3.0"); */                 /* printf ("Welcome to Windows 98");     */                 /* printf ("Welcome to Windows NT 4.0"); */                 /* printf ("Welcome to Windows NT 5.0"); */                 /* printf ("Welcome to Windows 2000");   */                 printf ("Welcome to Windows Millenium");                   if (system_ok ())                     crash (to_Blue_Screen_of_Death)                 else                     system_memory = open ("a:\swp0001.swp", O_CREATE);                   while (something)                 {                     sleep (5000);                     get_user_input (NULL);                     sleep (5000);                     act_on_user_input (NIL);                     sleep (5000);                 }                 create_general_protection_fault (0D, RANDOM_DLL_GPF);                unstable_system_message (INFINITE_LOOP);         }         return YOU_WILL_BE_ASSIMILATED;  }

[Zren]

The Vista one seems a lot more straight forward. Then again, I'm probably missing out on most of the jokes for XP and such.

code:

crash(to_dos_prompt)

Long live the ; error!

[DtY]

I like this one more, it's simpler:

c:

/* Windows version whatever copyright stuff */ int main(void) {     while (true) { malloc(1); }     return 0; }

[edit] Was the mistake:

c:

system_memory = open ("a:\swp0001.swp", O_CREATE);

Where they forgot to escape the \, and the syntax highlighter made it obvious?

[rdrake]

Several spelling mistakes.

[Insectoid]

Rather lame. The first one you read is a little funny, but after that it's just lame.

[ecookman]

Unfortunately I have to agree with insectoid

[andrew.]

I also agree with insectoid and ecookman.