Old joke about computers and cars

[btiffin]

An old alleged Bill Gates quip and some responses I've never heard before

"If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."

In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating:

If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars ith the following characteristics:

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash........? Twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.

4. Occasionally, executing a manoeuvre such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads.

6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warning light.

7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.

8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off

Cheers

[md]

# 6 and #10 are actually true now....

Most cars these days have gotten rid of the oil pressure guage, battery voltmeter, etc. guages. Heck, my car only displays the coolant temperature as part of the DIC (but it also displays tire pressure, average L/km, instant L/km, distance until out of fuel, average speed, and two trip counters).

Many new cars also have "Start/Stop" button, the Mini for instance. You insert the "key" into the dash, and then push "Start". To turn off the car you push "Start" again (it does say stop too methinks).

[btiffin]

Actually, the reason I felt the need to post this moldy oldy was #7.

[[Gandalf]]

Haha, not bad. I especially like the comparison made in #8, because for new to such things, that's basically what it feels like. Jam one hand on delete, try to reach over to alt with your thumb, and oh, there's ctrl on the other side of the keyboard!

[Insectoid]

My engineering teacher has a shrunken version of this on the wall of his classroom. Sort of ironic that I just read it yesterday, then read this today.

[andrew.]

md @ Tue Oct 21, 2008 9:06 pm wrote:

# 6 and #10 are actually true now....

Most cars these days have gotten rid of the oil pressure guage, battery voltmeter, etc. guages. Heck, my car only displays the coolant temperature as part of the DIC (but it also displays tire pressure, average L/km, instant L/km, distance until out of fuel, average speed, and two trip counters).

Many new cars also have "Start/Stop" button, the Mini for instance. You insert the "key" into the dash, and then push "Start". To turn off the car you push "Start" again (it does say stop too methinks).

Some of the newer Lexus and Toyota's have that. Your "key" just has to be inside the car and then you just press start. Same deal to turn off.

[SNIPERDUDE]

Haha, that was pretty funny. Made my day at least.

[Insectoid]

andrew. @ Wed Oct 22, 2008 4:13 pm wrote:

md @ Tue Oct 21, 2008 9:06 pm wrote:

# 6 and #10 are actually true now....

Most cars these days have gotten rid of the oil pressure guage, battery voltmeter, etc. guages. Heck, my car only displays the coolant temperature as part of the DIC (but it also displays tire pressure, average L/km, instant L/km, distance until out of fuel, average speed, and two trip counters).

Many new cars also have "Start/Stop" button, the Mini for instance. You insert the "key" into the dash, and then push "Start". To turn off the car you push "Start" again (it does say stop too methinks).

Some of the newer Lexus and Toyota's have that. Your "key" just has to be inside the car and then you just press start. Same deal to turn off.

So if your keys fall out the window while driving, you won't be able to turn off your car?

[HellblazerX]

No the key's in a slot on the dashboard. I'd imagine that it's fixed into place until you turn off the car.

[andrew.]

insectoid @ Wed Oct 22, 2008 7:07 pm wrote:

andrew. @ Wed Oct 22, 2008 4:13 pm wrote:

md @ Tue Oct 21, 2008 9:06 pm wrote:

# 6 and #10 are actually true now....

Most cars these days have gotten rid of the oil pressure guage, battery voltmeter, etc. guages. Heck, my car only displays the coolant temperature as part of the DIC (but it also displays tire pressure, average L/km, instant L/km, distance until out of fuel, average speed, and two trip counters).

Many new cars also have "Start/Stop" button, the Mini for instance. You insert the "key" into the dash, and then push "Start". To turn off the car you push "Start" again (it does say stop too methinks).

Some of the newer Lexus and Toyota's have that. Your "key" just has to be inside the car and then you just press start. Same deal to turn off.

So if your keys fall out the window while driving, you won't be able to turn off your car?

That would be ridiculous. No, the key isn't required to turn off the car.

[octopi]

This is just an assumption, but I'd assume that as soon as your car detected that the keys were no longer in the car, that it would turn itself off.

[andrew.]

But that would mean that if the car accidentally doesn't detect your key, then it would stop? What if your key fell out the car and you were on a highway? The car doesn't need a key to stop, but needs one to start. There is a problem with this though because people may get used to just having the key in their pocket that they could forget it in the house and the key would be in range so the car would start. They would end up going where they need to, but then they can't get back.

[Insectoid]

Excellent point, but I think the detection range is like, driver seat distance