Y R We Here? II : The application.

[codemage]

That's right. The much-anticipated application spawned off by the now infamous, almost-longest, admin-locked debate.

Only the basest attempt at any form of political / theological / coding correctness here. This may be an eye-opener for some of you. Best of luck.

code:

%100 years in purgatory sounds about right for any non-saint. var years, indulgence, menu : real := 100 loop     cls     if years < 0 then         years := 0     end if     put "Welcome to the *Y R We Here* Medieval Catholic Calculator"     put "Please select an option from the menu:"     put ""     put "(Current years in purgatory : ", years, ")"     put ""     put "1 - Achieve Sainthood"     put "2 - Donate money / pay for indulgence"     put "3 - Record Good Deed"     put "4 - Record minor sin (jaywalking, white lies)"     put "5 - Record major sin (ask for someone on CompSci to do your assignments."     put "6 - Record deadly sin (pride, slot, greed, etc.)"     put "7 - Exit / Convert from Catholicism."     put ""     put "Your choice, oh lowly one :" ..     get menu     if menu = 7 then         if years > 5000 then             put "See you in Hell.  (From heaven of course)."         else             put "See you in the afterlife."         end if         exit     elsif menu = 1 then         put "Good for you.  Say hi to St. Pete for me."         years := 0     elsif menu = 2 then         put "How much money are you donating?" ..         get indulgence         put "God says, \"I see your ", indulgence, " dollars, and I smite down "         indulgence := indulgence / 100000 * Rand.Int (80, 120)         put indulgence, " years of purgatory."         years := years - indulgence     elsif menu = 3 then         put "That's not as nice as a big beefy indulgence... but it'll save"         put "you a bit of time in limbo."         years := years - 1     elsif menu = 4 or menu = 5 or menu = 6 then         put "You wicked, wicked monkey.  I hope you can afford to pay for that."         years := years + (menu / 6) * 5     else         put "How does a year in purgy sound for not picking a proper option?"         years := years + 1     end if     delay (2500) end loop

[Dan]

I love it =p

Epsalty how you have to buy your way out of hell.

[ZeroPaladn]

SWEET! im in hell for 3000 years!

[wtd]

Ruby port.

code:

years = 100 loop do    years = 0 if years < 0    puts <<MENU Welcome to the *Y R We Here* Medieval Catholic Calculator Please select an option from the menu: (Current years in purgatory : #{years}) 1 - Achieve Sainthood 2 - Donate money / pay for indulgence 3 - Record Good Deed 4 - Record minor sin (jaywalking, white lies) 5 - Record major sin (ask for someone on CompSci to do your assignments. 6 - Record deadly sin (pride, slot, greed, etc.) 7 - Exit / Convert from Catholicism. MENU    print "Your choice, oh lowly one: "    choice = gets.to_i    case choice       when 7          if years > 5000             puts "See you in Hell.  (From heaven of course)."          else             puts "See you in the afterlife."          end          exit       when 1          puts "Good for you.  Say hi to St. Pete for me."          years = 0       when 2          print "How much money are you donating?"          indulgence = gets.to_i          puts "God says, \"I see your #{indulgence} dollars, and I smite down "          indulgence /= 100000 * (rand * 40 + 80).to_i          puts "#{indulgence} years of purgatory."          years -= indulgence       when 3          puts "That's not as nice as a big beefy indulgence... but it'll save"          puts "you a bit of time in limbo."          years -= 1       when 4, 5, 6          puts "You wicked, wicked monkey.  I hope you can afford to pay for that."          years += (menu / 6) * 5       else          puts "How does a year in purgy sound for not picking a proper option?"          years += 1    end        sleep 2500 end

[jrblast]

muahahaha, i will be seen in hell from heaven

fun game humourous comments...monkey...paintbrush *takes a long walk off a short cliff* lol

[WhatDotColourMaster]

Very Unique and FUNNY!!! Good Creativity???!!!

[do_pete]

I wonder what sylvester would say if he saw this

[Tony]

no worries, this is hidden all the way in [Turing Source Code]

[codemage]

The title line has it covered:

code:

%Medieval Catholic Calculator

It's present-day politically correct by presuming to be acurate historically.

[Shyfire]

i love this programe it the $#!+
u should make into an rpg LOL

[md]

fatboi wrote:

i love this programe it the $#!+
u should make into an rpg LOL

You Sir are a moron, years += infinity.

[ZeroPaladn]

lolz fatboi. your damned for eterninty. say hi to satan for me.

[sylvester-27]

i found it...its a good program but you shouldn't mock purgatory or God's method of selection of people going to either heaven or hell.

[Tony]

oh, we're not mocking anything... it's just a medieval tool that people used back then..

[codemage]

That's actually pretty close to how they did it in the middle ages when the church was most corrupt.

They'd find out how many sins you had committed and give you a price that you could pay to erase them.

There are several well-documented examples where this process was available in reverse. In other words, you could tell a priest what sin you were about to commit, and he would sell you a license which would make that future sin not count against you.

The RC does it differently now, of course; and nobody can say what exact method the Christian God uses to determine afterlife status. The number of years that I picked for offenses are completely arbitrary.