%100 years in purgatory sounds about right for any non-saint.
var years, indulgence, menu : real := 100

loop
    cls
    if years < 0 then
        years := 0
    end if
    put "Welcome to the *Y R We Here* Medieval Catholic Calculator"
    put "Please select an option from the menu:"
    put ""
    put "(Current years in purgatory : ", years, ")"
    put ""
    put "1 - Achieve Sainthood"
    put "2 - Donate money / pay for indulgence"
    put "3 - Record Good Deed"
    put "4 - Record minor sin (jaywalking, white lies)"
    put "5 - Record major sin (ask for someone on CompSci to do your assignments."
    put "6 - Record deadly sin (pride, slot, greed, etc.)"
    put "7 - Exit / Convert from Catholicism."
    put ""
    put "Your choice, oh lowly one :" ..
    get menu

    if menu = 7 then
        if years > 5000 then
            put "See you in Hell.  (From heaven of course)."
        else
            put "See you in the afterlife."
        end if
        exit
    elsif menu = 1 then
        put "Good for you.  Say hi to St. Pete for me."
        years := 0
    elsif menu = 2 then
        put "How much money are you donating?" ..
        get indulgence
        put "God says, \"I see your ", indulgence, " dollars, and I smite down "
        indulgence := indulgence / 100000 * Rand.Int (80, 120)
        put indulgence, " years of purgatory."
        years := years - indulgence
    elsif menu = 3 then
        put "That's not as nice as a big beefy indulgence... but it'll save"
        put "you a bit of time in limbo."
        years := years - 1
    elsif menu = 4 or menu = 5 or menu = 6 then
        put "You wicked, wicked monkey.  I hope you can afford to pay for that."
        years := years + (menu / 6) * 5
    else
        put "How does a year in purgy sound for not picking a proper option?"
        years := years + 1
    end if
    delay (2500)
end loop

years = 100

loop do
   years = 0 if years < 0
   puts <<MENU
Welcome to the *Y R We Here* Medieval Catholic Calculator
Please select an option from the menu:

(Current years in purgatory : #{years})

1 - Achieve Sainthood
2 - Donate money / pay for indulgence
3 - Record Good Deed
4 - Record minor sin (jaywalking, white lies)
5 - Record major sin (ask for someone on CompSci to do your assignments.
6 - Record deadly sin (pride, slot, greed, etc.)
7 - Exit / Convert from Catholicism.

MENU
   print "Your choice, oh lowly one: "
   choice = gets.to_i

   case choice
      when 7
         if years > 5000
            puts "See you in Hell.  (From heaven of course)."
         else
            puts "See you in the afterlife."
         end
         exit
      when 1
         puts "Good for you.  Say hi to St. Pete for me."
         years = 0
      when 2
         print "How much money are you donating?"
         indulgence = gets.to_i
         puts "God says, \"I see your #{indulgence} dollars, and I smite down "
         indulgence /= 100000 * (rand * 40 + 80).to_i
         puts "#{indulgence} years of purgatory."
         years -= indulgence
      when 3
         puts "That's not as nice as a big beefy indulgence... but it'll save"
         puts "you a bit of time in limbo."
         years -= 1
      when 4, 5, 6
         puts "You wicked, wicked monkey.  I hope you can afford to pay for that."
         years += (menu / 6) * 5
      else
         puts "How does a year in purgy sound for not picking a proper option?"
         years += 1
   end
   
   sleep 2500
end

%Medieval Catholic Calculator