Computer Science Canada

The Diary of an Angst-filled Drama Queen

Author:  Dauntless [ Sat Jan 24, 2004 1:51 pm ]
Post subject:  The Diary of an Angst-filled Drama Queen

Hey, me and Naoki (hopefully) are posting our teen angst poems in here. What was inspired by angstful "poetry" on our English classroom wall has blossomed into what we feel is the distilled essence of teenage poetry.
Bah, I can't remember our first two, so I'll start our third one (the first two were wiped out by the Zieba)

Angst III

Nobody hears my cries of anguish in the night
Nobody feels my heartbreak and pain
Each day is an exercise in hell
Exercise is hell as well
My parents don't understand me
(Something about obesity)
If only someone could see into the depths of my heart
Every night I cry and I cry
and I cry
and I cry
and I cry.
The darkness is coming for me...
THE DARKNESS IS COMING FOR ME!!!?!!

^Our first two were so much better though.

Author:  naoki [ Sat Jan 24, 2004 3:41 pm ]
Post subject: 

Meh. Mebbe my eyes are bad or something, but I could've sworn I could Sticky something. If not, hopefully Dodge will read this and do me the favor.

I'll try one myself:

I'm crying alone in the mall
There's nobody to feel my pain
Their ignorant laughs crush my soul
I'm an ant in their capitalistic world
The cruel Gap saleswoman
Her judging eyes, her sneering lips
Why won't she get me size 40 pants?
Why won't she find me a 45A bra?

Darkness hangs over the mall
The NY fries taste like dead woman's fingers
My fingers
My hands
My body
The darkness .......

Author:  McKenzie [ Sat Jan 24, 2004 3:59 pm ]
Post subject: 

I think you are missing the key component the teen-girl angst ... love lost. Something like:
why won't he call me
what's wrong with my face
why won't he call me
what's wrong with my race
I spilled out my heart
I spilled out my soul
I spilled out my brains
the world is so cruel
he told me me loved me
he told me he'd call
he make me feel stupid
he made me feel small
my friends were so jealous
when we showed up that night
they wanted to be me
I did everything right
the world has gone blank now
there's no taste to my food
my heart is all shattered
there's no lifting my mood
I look out the window
I think I might jump
I look at the drab world
I think it's a dump
why won't he call me
what's wrong with my face
why won't he call me
what's wrong with my race

Author:  Dauntless [ Sat Jan 24, 2004 11:21 pm ]
Post subject: 

Maverick must be a teen girl. Wink

But you see, Mckenzie, we try to use the recurring themes that we found in the writing on the wall. We try to avoid realistic themes, instead looking for the ridiculous ones. I also agree that your point has merit. I will endeavor to assimilate your suggestion into my future "work".

Ever downward spiral is
perfect description of my imperfect life
I write as I cry
and I cry as I write
I sit at the table
Fermenting
Refusing
To eat what is left on my plate
Fascist parents enforce meals
This house is under martial law
No one knows the depths
of the pain I feel
in my stomach
Like a evanescent thunderstorm
it thunders
and storms
and storms
as I cry.

Author:  naoki [ Sun Jan 25, 2004 10:37 am ]
Post subject: 

if people are taking these poems as serious outlets for our emotions then i'm gonna suck every bit from their account Mad

anyways, some more angst shall we?

I'm too different
I'm filled with oblivion
The scars of darkness show too much
I'm isolated forever
Like the geeky kid in gym class

Damn you Simon Cowell
How could you see past my guise
My shroud was gone, you saw me
Now I can't be Kelly Clarkson
I've dreamed of this day for a year
I look in the mirror
The crushing void in my heart leaving
My glass eye melting away into her brown one
My acne-raped face comes off like a mask
My 250 pounds thrown away like an old whore
I should've become beautiful
Now I've become darkness
The darkness which will seek Cowell
I'll send him into my world
Let the demons in my mind feast on him
Let the aura of suffering encase his body
Let him be ugly

Author:  aliveiswell [ Sun Jan 25, 2004 9:57 pm ]
Post subject: 

?:
My thoughtless actions against the prom,
My lust in the bed of my best friend's mom, (im joking, im joking)
My black painted lips, all fake goth,
Expose my terror of being wrong.

My elders are ignorant as the teachers,
And Satan is surely better than preachers,
Marylin Manson is my hero,
He is my leader, leader.

I cut myself up in my room,
Enshrouded in darkness, my mental tomb,
My use of words don't convey my thoughts,
I cut myself when I tried to shave my arm pits.

The jocks detest me, oh my me,
The broads are always angry,
I assaulted their girlfriends again,
I don't consider my thoughts perverted.

The keys on my keyboard are all in pieces of tokens (?)
My syntax was perfect, the compiler just broken,
WHY WON'T MY IF STATEMENTS WORK,
It's because no one loves me.

Today my best friend sent me a file,
He said it was a game to make me smile,
I opened it and there mocking me,
Perfect use of Font.Draw to tell me all the files that were copied on my hard drive to see.

If only I was cool, my darkness not blanketed,
Upon me in layers of unending shanketed, (?)
I go to Chucky Cheess and jump in the balls,
To my doom, to my doom, I will fall on some fat kid with cake on his face.

Excuse the previous writing as horsesh_t.

Author:  Dauntless [ Sun Jan 25, 2004 10:39 pm ]
Post subject: 

Purple is the colour of my heartbreak
purple is the colour of my face
purple is the colour of the rain
this is not a tribute to Jimi Hendrix

Purple, ever purple
Bruised and broken purple body
I'm trapped and I can only watch
as the hourglass slowly slips away
the purple hours slip away
The Colour Purple
No, not the movie.

Hehe.

Author:  naoki [ Tue Jan 27, 2004 1:45 pm ]
Post subject: 

ANGST:

fireballs rain from all sides
their searing bodies
ready to take the beauty from me

demons stand before me
some declare they're on my side
but my heart knows their heart
their twisted schemes as they step aside
and let brimstone shower the earth

i run and run, my heart beating like a drum
running away from the pain
running away from the torture
but i can't
because of the shrill call of the valkyrie
it keeps me stuck in my place, unable to move

and i see it coming
it brings with it torment, shadows of the beyond
their unearthly calls pushing it forth
and at last i become marked
it is sealed, i am forever doomed
i am forced to serve the darkness

i have been hit by the dodgeball

Author:  Dauntless [ Wed Jan 28, 2004 11:04 pm ]
Post subject: 

Lol, I gotta say that last one really captured the idea of how teen poets try to incorporate literary devices in their poetry (let's call it poety since it's not quite poetry).

Case in point;

Quote:
running away from the pain
running away from the torture
but i can't
because of the shrill call of the valkyrie


This is the part in teen poety where you're just like...wtf?? What does a valkyrie hafta do with anything??? Who knew that the call of the valkyrie did that?


Quote:
it brings with it torment, shadows of the beyond
their unearthly calls pushing it forth
and at last i become marked
it is sealed, i am forever doomed
i am forced to serve the darkness


Dark theme, check. You could say it is like pathetic fallacy; pathetic fallacy is when a character exaggerates traits in nature so that they believe it is talking to them through symbolism / teen poet gets stuff out of nowhere (darkness...what darkness?).

Excellent piece of work Mand....naoki. I'm gonna hafta try way harder to add some of the same.

Author:  naoki [ Thu Jan 29, 2004 12:47 pm ]
Post subject: 

Teen Angst:

I'm backed against the wall
My eyes are larger than my palms
I'm shivering
I'm shaking
I don't know what to do

Blood is dripping before me
But I have no idea why
What pact have I made
Whose pact did I join
To swear that my blood would flow?

I'm scared beyond belief
The darkness, I can feel it coming
I know this only happens to me
Because I'm different
Because I'm haunted

I clean up my wounds
I run to my sanctuary
My dotted clothes are burned
But can my dotted future be burned?
With no hope left, I turn to the Book
of Bodily Functions
I'm sure they can't tell me what's wrong
Because only death can tell me what's wrong

Oh wait, nevermind
It just says I'm having a period

Author:  Dauntless [ Fri Jan 30, 2004 11:02 pm ]
Post subject: 

I just had to say this in response to your SoulCalibur discussions in GD. Since this is the only forum where I have relative power and freedom to speak, I just wanted to say this

WHOA WHOA WHOA! Maxi sucks!!! A Maxi is a product for women. Talim. Now that's where its at. It's ALL about Talim and her little quick self. Sure, she does about 4 ticks of health every hit, but man is she fast. The guy with the stick sometimes gets lucky though. Also, wtf is up with that guard impact crap? That's no good, people. It should all be about the combos and the fighting and stuff. But I guess I'll learn it anyways.

Also, in other, unrelated news, my air rifle, the XS-B18 is coming in like oh..15 days at the least!! Hurrah!

Author:  Dauntless [ Fri Jan 30, 2004 11:06 pm ]
Post subject: 

Just sitting here in my room
On a bed that reeks of heartbreak
Listening to the gospel of
Dashboard Confessional and
Simple Plan
Their hardcore sounds just touch my soul
Their truthful words they make me whole
I'd slit my throat to go see Dashboard
I'd eat a horse for Simple Plan tickets

Comments? Should it have been longer?
See, isn't this much easier than writing LKF?

Btw, LKF about naoki.
The man actually does eat horses, but not for any specific reason. He's kinda like, a horse connoiseur. He really wants to eat a Kentucky Derby winner someday. But these days, all he gets is the 35-1 odd horses from the Windsor Track.

Author:  Dauntless [ Fri Jan 30, 2004 11:12 pm ]
Post subject: 

Angst-filled Author's Note: Talking in caps expresses my anger

RAGE

MY MIND IS ON FIRE
EVERYONE ****ES ME OFF
**** THEM
**** YOU
I ****IN HATE YOU ALL
THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR HATING ON SPAMMERS
WHY THE **** IS IT WRONG FOR ME TO SPAM
YOU ****ING COMMUNISTS
RAAAAAGHHHHH
GAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH
RAGE
RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHH
FILL MY SOUL WITH SUBLIMATED GOTHICA
QUENCH THE FIRES OF MY UNWORTHY MIND
RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHHHH

I gotta say, not too good....but who knows, maybe someone will like it. Besides, this is my second one for today, I think I'm allowed to slack a bit. And, I can always delete it later. :p



IMPORTANT EDIT: I had too many A's in the third RAGH, so I edited two out. Cuz you see, it just wouldn't be art otherwise.

Author:  jonos [ Fri Jan 30, 2004 11:19 pm ]
Post subject: 

^best one i've heard so far!!!

Don't torchure my torchured soul,
In the inky blackness my pain goes deep,
I cannot strive for a better me,
When only light can heal my shrunken soul.

I only know pain and suffering,
I only use black light cause it hurts me,
Pain is my repreive from my sorrow,
I listen to music that makes me dead.

ahhh, that sucked

Author:  shorthair [ Fri Jan 30, 2004 11:23 pm ]
Post subject: 

Well whe nyou have jesus in your messages , it stopts you from making good angst poems

Blaitently Lies Through Teeth To make Jonos Feel Better[

Dauntless ,you really caputre the essence of CAPS , amakes the whole peom fit into perspective

Blaitently Lies Through Teeth To make Dauntless Feel Better

Author:  Dauntless [ Fri Jan 30, 2004 11:24 pm ]
Post subject: 

AAAH!! It's hacker dan on Shorthair's account!! Behold the typsos! <--on purpose

Author:  naoki [ Sat Jan 31, 2004 2:46 pm ]
Post subject: 

hmph, a reply to dauntless' SC remark

obviously talim is the quickest person in the game. but like you said, she has crap damage. all i have to do is guard impact her and then set her up into a long maxi combo chain. maxi has the most stances of any character, with each stance benefitting him in some way.

also, maxi's high-low game is much more varied than talims IMO (well this shouldn't count, bias) making him easier to cross-up an opponent.
that, and maxi's ultimate weapon practically rips apart an opponent the second he lands a hit on them, then it's follow-ups into death

Author:  Martin [ Sat Jan 31, 2004 3:31 pm ]
Post subject: 

Hey, you can swear here, doesn't really matter.

Author:  AsianSensation [ Sat Jan 31, 2004 8:36 pm ]
Post subject: 

naoki wrote:
...and maxi's ultimate weapon practically rips apart an opponent the second he lands a hit on them, then it's follow-ups into death


but also realize that maxi's ultimate weapon gives him crappy defense stats, and also makes him unable to block, which is a pain because it really really hard to Guard Impact pro player on their every move. Most likely, they will just Reverse Guard Impact you and then what, you are fairly screwed.

Talim isn't all that good, as naoki said, she has crap damage with no range. Ivy would rip her apart, so would Astaroth, a good Nightmare player could kill her (ring out in like 10 seconds). Most no-ranged characters suck in SC II, with the sole exception of Heihaichi, who is actually top-tier, too bad he is for PS2 only.

Author:  Dauntless [ Sat Jan 31, 2004 10:13 pm ]
Post subject: 

Dammit, post more relevant stuff.
Oh well, who cares about "pro players" and such? I'm talking about playing your friends and stuff. And I had no idea Ivy was that good, my friends and I don't really use her...we only have 1 weap for her..lol
Besides, I'll rip you up with Talim...You'll see.

Author:  naoki [ Sat Jan 31, 2004 11:09 pm ]
Post subject: 

Dauntless wrote:
And I had no idea Ivy was that good, my friends and I don't really use her...we only have 1 weap for her..lol
Besides, I'll rip you up with Talim...You'll see.


psh, you have noob friends dauntless (besides the 2 you're posting to here). jimmy "i love raphael" and joel "astaroth kick" both have unlocked all the weapons, katas, sound tests and whatnot for every single character. all in all, you haven't really seen a character in action until you see their ultimate weapon.

i think perhaps the only disadvantage is perhaps talim's higher priority pokes against ivy. since ivy's moves are slower, she has to time her whip attacks carefully so they don't get cancelled by a poke.

and maxi > talim > cervantes > raphael (damn bbb players!)

Author:  Dauntless [ Sat Jan 31, 2004 11:50 pm ]
Post subject: 

Psh, who cares.

Lets get back to the angst, and no more of the fanboy crap in this thread.

Author:  AsianSensation [ Sun Feb 01, 2004 5:13 pm ]
Post subject: 

Angst

Why do you torment me so?
As you stand there,
laughing at my inability of fighting back.
Mocking me.
Baiting me.

I run toward you.
Fists ready to pound your brain into pulp.
You just laughed,
and with a swift kick,
brought me upon my knees.
Commanding me to give up.

I spit in your face.
Cursing your ancestors,
for bringing forth to the world,
a scourge such as yourself.
I see you are angered,
but I never knew you were a coward,
with enough guts to wield a blade against an unarmed opponent.

your knife struck me repeatedly.
I cower in fear.
Yet still, you advance toward me.
I tried to push you away,
to give myself a chance at escape.
But you just pressed on,
closer and closer and closer.

You grabbed me by the arms,
and thrust forward that cursed blade,
running it through my midriff.
Now I as I lay on the ground,
my life force are but an ephemeral ghost,
I have only one last thing to say:

"You are never playing Raphael again, you damn button mashing bastard!"

^
|
|
you would get it if you play Soul Calibur II with bunch of newbies that only use BBB with Raphael.

Author:  Dauntless [ Sun Feb 01, 2004 11:34 pm ]
Post subject: 

Geez...No more SC II in this thread you bastard.
But you must be Heihachi right? Post a poem if you say yes. Don't post anything again (anywhere) if you want to say no.

Oh, btw, excellent grammar, chinesy as always, man/Men (you'd get it if you knew his real name):

Quote:
my life force are but an ephemeral ghost,


And way to make sense here...haha:

Quote:
you were a coward,

Quote:
with enough guts to wield a blade against an unarmed opponent.

Quote:
You grabbed me by the arms,
and thrust forward that cursed blade,


Well that's why you lost...dude has three arms.

Author:  AsianSensation [ Sun Feb 01, 2004 11:51 pm ]
Post subject: 

Of course I was using Heihachi.........I meant uhm...uhm......

Heihachi must I be,
for I fight with karate

yeah, that's right.....

and hey, what if that angsty girl was Chinesy? huh? I was only keeping in character. I mean, you can't possibly expect her to speak english that well. To give her perfect and flawless grammar would be so out of character.

Author:  Dauntless [ Mon Feb 02, 2004 12:04 am ]
Post subject: 

Inspiration!!!!


My life is the suck
I can't take it anymore
My grammar are horrible
I do bad in English and thing like that
The mark of 98%
is like as if the great snow tiger had rapes my sister
Where the other 2% go?
Seppuku is the only way out

Well....if I could be more chinesy, this woulda been much better. Someone else like mengke should take chinesy angst and run with it.

Author:  Dauntless [ Mon Feb 02, 2004 11:57 am ]
Post subject: 

I strike my hand and draw a line across the page
the ink drips as it descends to the cursed plain
sweat falls to meld into one
one with the blood formed from the fire and the fun

I hold down and keep the demons subdued
pressure builds as it passes through the guild
through the fields

the winds whirl around and blows in my face
ashes tumble as I pass through this state
greed falls to join into one
one with the dead found in the graves where it sung

pierced flesh allows the demons free
free to see what the light does to me
what the heat does to me


What a masterpiece of angst. Analyze it thoroughly. This has everything you'd ever want to aspire to in angst. This is straight from the wall. It's gold. Tell me what you noticed and liked and I'll tell you after.

Author:  Knightmare [ Sun Feb 08, 2004 4:42 pm ]
Post subject: 

McKenzie wrote:
I think you are missing the key component the teen-girl angst ... love lost.


Thats deep McKenzie...

Author:  Tony [ Wed Feb 11, 2004 11:46 pm ]
Post subject: 

eh... I donno Confused I'm not much of a writer... but umm... this is more of an english question I chouse to answer in an original (i think) way. And I'm too lazy to email this to myself to print out in school tomorrow, so I'm just gonna post it here.

Quote:

To be, or not to be... that is the question!
To jump?
To hang?
To cut my veins?
Or just take Advil over night?
To put up with all of this pain?
Or end it all in suicide?

Author:  Dauntless [ Sun Feb 15, 2004 1:42 am ]
Post subject: 

Hey, you think I could make a cameo in the compsci comic as Angst Boy? I get to write my lines though...but you guys can give me input.

Hopefully your comic gets out of this dry procedural plot introduction stage so you can get into the swing of things and have cameos and stuff like that.

Author:  Andy [ Sun Feb 15, 2004 2:51 pm ]
Post subject: 

dauntless is famous... he's in the papers

Author:  Dauntless [ Sun Feb 15, 2004 8:48 pm ]
Post subject: 

True dat.

Author:  Mazer [ Sun Feb 15, 2004 8:54 pm ]
Post subject: 

In the paper? What happened, did dodge rip off your shirt to expose your nipple?

Author:  Dauntless [ Sun Feb 15, 2004 8:55 pm ]
Post subject: 

Oooh,

By-passer insult + current events reference + niggling grammatical error=
No cigar.

Lol Mazer, you know we love you....r brother.

Author:  Mazer [ Sun Feb 15, 2004 9:01 pm ]
Post subject: 

Damn you Dauntless. I swear I've never done that before!

Author:  Dauntless [ Tue Feb 17, 2004 4:38 pm ]
Post subject: 

Yeah whatever, Coutsos #1...

Author:  Mazer [ Tue Feb 17, 2004 9:01 pm ]
Post subject: 

Dauntless wrote:
Yeah whatever, Coutsos #1...

To naoki: You have my full permission. Chidori dauntless' ass.

Author:  Dauntless [ Tue Feb 17, 2004 9:02 pm ]
Post subject: 

I'm about to get Japanesed?
Chidori must be Japanese for "ballsack". Can you believe I worked out beside Coutsos #1 today after school? The man can lateral pulldown the entire stack of weights! It's alright #2, I'm sure you can do the same with your mind.

Author:  Paul [ Tue Feb 17, 2004 9:18 pm ]
Post subject: 

chidori=a thousand birds=lightning strike.
Some kinda strike thing that stabs you with energy on a person's hand, and "kills you to death" hehe I love that phrase.

Author:  Dauntless [ Tue Feb 17, 2004 9:19 pm ]
Post subject: 

Chidori...=...ballsack? I don't get what you're saying.

Author:  naoki [ Tue Feb 24, 2004 4:40 pm ]
Post subject: 

Dauntless wrote:
I'm about to get Japanesed?
Chidori must be Japanese for "ballsack". Can you believe I worked out beside Coutsos #2 today after school? The man can lateral pulldown the entire stack of weights! It's alright #1, I'm sure you can do the same with your mind.


fool. Coutsos #1 does that by hacking into the International Weight Adjustment server and re-programming the displacement pulleys to do it for him! Then he goes over to Naruto.Com, and transfers the music files into the school PA system, to play the theme song while the machine works itself out.

Also, I will Chidori him good. But first, I must do 5 hand symbols (2 involve breaking several fingers to accomplish it) and charge up for approximately half an episode (10 minutes) before I can attack.

Author:  Dauntless [ Tue Feb 24, 2004 5:03 pm ]
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Hehe. You called him #1 as well!

Ze Darknezxxxxx.....

Author:  Paul [ Tue Feb 24, 2004 5:18 pm ]
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Hehe, I'll be ready to do the sound effects of finger signs, *FWAPP* *FWAPP* Very Happy

Author:  Mazer [ Tue Feb 24, 2004 9:42 pm ]
Post subject: 

naoki wrote:

fool. Coutsos #1 does that by hacking into the International Weight Adjustment server and re-programming the displacement pulleys to do it for him! Then he goes over to Naruto.Com, and transfers the music files into the school PA system, to play the theme song while the machine works itself out.

Naruto theme music? You mean for the music they play in the morning instead of the usual crap we have to listen to? Now there's a plan. I'm thinking either the second intro song or "Strong and Strike." And then for effect you and I can run through the hallways (on the walls, like true ninjas) performing hand seals, shouting rapidly in Japanese, and beating the crap out of each other. Sound good to you?

Author:  Dauntless [ Tue Feb 24, 2004 10:25 pm ]
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I'd kill to see a wall-walking bear.

Author:  Mazer [ Wed Feb 25, 2004 7:52 am ]
Post subject: 

Well, I'm not sure how this has to do with anything but...
Posted Image, might have been reduced in size. Click Image to view fullscreen.
Remember what you said, now. Go and kill Tom Coutsos.

EDIT: Oh yeah, you were calling naoki bear now... doesn't matter. You still have to hold up your end of the bargain.

Author:  Dauntless [ Wed Feb 25, 2004 8:55 am ]
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I dunno....smells like a doctored photo to me...But discretion is the better part of valour. You will have his beautiful head on a stake by noon.

Author:  Maverick [ Wed Feb 25, 2004 4:39 pm ]
Post subject: 

Im not sure. That looks real to me. But im not one of those CSI guys

Author:  naoki [ Wed Feb 25, 2004 5:26 pm ]
Post subject: 

actually, considering how people in naruto can summon animals, i'm guessing that a bear should be one possibility. after all, they have summoned frogs, puppy dogs and monkey kings.

bearsex no jutsu?

Author:  jonos [ Wed Feb 25, 2004 5:58 pm ]
Post subject: 

what!!!? i don't think ive made it that far yet. i guess i will just have to read a lot more. i still think sexy no jutsu is the best jutsu, next to your bearsex ones.

Author:  Paul [ Wed Feb 25, 2004 6:00 pm ]
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God, I see no ANGST, we're going off topic. Geez, stick a sex in any word and turn it into japanese...

Author:  jonos [ Wed Feb 25, 2004 6:04 pm ]
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this IS angst. angst is reading naruto when we should be doing doing normal stuff like trying to get laid and stuff, but instead we are rebelling against others our age and achieving more angst-level then them. does that make sense?

Author:  Maverick [ Wed Feb 25, 2004 6:53 pm ]
Post subject: 

WTF is naruto. And who cares?

Author:  jonos [ Wed Feb 25, 2004 8:16 pm ]
Post subject: 

!!!! naruto is life biatch. narutofan.com and go check it out for your soul's sake.

wasn't trying to be rude or anyuthing with biatch, ive just been wanting to say it for a long time, but its' a pretty gay word so i won't use it again.

Author:  Dauntless [ Thu Feb 26, 2004 6:01 pm ]
Post subject: 

Here's an actual piece I wrote for the Pluralist writing contest, that I'm submitting tomorrow... It's not angst. It's a prose piece, and you can read it to find out what it is about.

Cold Morning
Prose – 218 words

Dawn breaks dreary and still. A death-grey forest of barren trees and lifeless shrubbery is arrayed on a steel-grey canvas pierced with the virgin rays of dawn. Like lazy fireflies in no hurry to alight on the ground below, early winter snow drifts gracefully down. One flake lands cat-like on the eyelashes of a hunter below, but he lies perfectly still; such is his art. He is like a lioness waiting in tall grass, with brutal claws ready to dispatch her prey; his concealment, synthetic camouflage; his prey, a noble stag. In his hands lie pain and instant death; his mind is awash with the heady intoxication of holding power over life. One slow, smooth pull and the stag dies of lead-death. The Lord giveth, and the lord taketh away. Viewed through the clear glass of his scope, the crosshair-pinned monarch of the woods seems too real, too vulnerable. By now the sun has been born of the cool womb of dawn, and the outreach of the fully manifested saffron sun brings warmth to him. Abruptly the hunter’s illusions of godliness are interrupted, and he realizes he cannot bring himself to kill it. Filtered gold spills through the spindly arms of warmth-starved tree branches above as the hunter trudges off, pondering what it is to be merely human.

Tell me if you can see the sort of plot progression too (Hint: The two arcs involve [environment, man]. So basically like [0,0], [5,5]. Except the two "coordinates" are details about the "scene")

Author:  Dauntless [ Thu Feb 26, 2004 6:08 pm ]
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Additionally, Men In Hats (meninhats.com, by Aaron Farber) featured an angst-modification poem. This is the original;
{

Oh this horrible thing called life.
I wish everyone would just shut up.
I hate the world and I am alone.

}

The modified version, by Aram, one of the characters.

{

Oh this horrible thing called religion.
I wish Sam would just shut up.
I hate the Jesus and I am sick.

P.S. God sucks.

}
Aram then runs off and hands the poem to Sam, the confession stand guy.

Don't be offended! No way does anyone condone this type of thing!
Here's the original strip: http://meninhats.com/d/20040209.html

Author:  Mazer [ Thu Feb 26, 2004 7:44 pm ]
Post subject: 

Dauntless wrote:
Here's an actual piece I wrote for the Pluralist writing contest, that I'm submitting tomorrow... It's not angst. It's a prose piece, and you can read it to find out what it is about.

Cold Morning
Prose - 218 words

Dawn breaks dreary and still. A death-grey forest of barren trees and lifeless shrubbery is arrayed on a steel-grey canvas pierced with the virgin rays of dawn. Like lazy fireflies in no hurry to alight on the ground below, early winter snow drifts gracefully down. One flake lands cat-like on the eyelashes of a hunter below, but he lies perfectly still; such is his art. He is like a lioness waiting in tall grass, with brutal claws ready to dispatch her prey; his concealment, synthetic camouflage; his prey, a noble stag. In his hands lie pain and instant death; his mind is awash with the heady intoxication of holding power over life. One slow, smooth pull and the stag dies of lead-death. The Lord giveth, and the lord taketh away. Viewed through the clear glass of his scope, the crosshair-pinned monarch of the woods seems too real, too vulnerable. By now the sun has been born of the cool womb of dawn, and the outreach of the fully manifested saffron sun brings warmth to him. Abruptly the hunter's illusions of godliness are interrupted, and he realizes he cannot bring himself to kill it. Filtered gold spills through the spindly arms of warmth-starved tree branches above as the hunter trudges off, pondering what it is to be merely human.

Tell me if you can see the sort of plot progression too (Hint: The two arcs involve [environment, man]. So basically like [0,0], [5,5]. Except the two "coordinates" are details about the "scene")

It's about a guy camping in cs_office during a round of counter-strike.


Right? I'm not going to pretend I ever try to understand poetry by myself, but I'm curious as to what this one is "really" about?

Author:  Dauntless [ Thu Feb 26, 2004 11:00 pm ]
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Oh, it's not like a hidden meaning.

It's like this; it starts off cold and bleak, and the hunter is like a machine. He's unfeeling towards the fact that he is about to kill something. He feels like he's a God, because he can has power over life. Right now, if he wills the stag to die, it will die. (No pun intended...it was completely p-unintentional Twisted Evil ) And that proverb comes to mind. But it has an unexpected effect; he remembers the giveth part. As the dawn bursts into day, he warms up and feels compassion and decides to show mercy. He walks off feeling like a human, and thinking of the ramrifications of that.

If Kevin read this he'd be like, stop camping! Such a n00b! But he wouldn't be able to say spray! Or, knowing him...

Oh yeah, the progression thing I was hinting at was [cold, machine-like], [warm, human].

Author:  Dauntless [ Fri Feb 27, 2004 5:36 pm ]
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Here's the latest Angst from Jeriah, the clown:

A Haiku by Jeriah

Yo, sadness is like
all up inside this nigga
East coast forever

"Well, that was an interesting twist on your usual works."
"I aimed it for today's youth market."

Author:  Dauntless [ Sun Mar 07, 2004 9:00 pm ]
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More angst:

Sadness is like cherry blossoms
I hope you find the irony in my nihilism
The flower is in full bloom
It falls to the ground
the cold hard ground
All because
the world
is
a
horrible
place.
All
-------because
-----------------------te world
------------hates
everything.
F**k the man.

Author:  jonos [ Sun Mar 07, 2004 9:10 pm ]
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nice poem, but someone please lock this topic, im gonna commit suicide any minute!!!!

Author:  Dauntless [ Sun Mar 07, 2004 9:12 pm ]
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That's always heartwarming to hear. I mean, that's always like having the fiery hellhounds of hell (redundancy is good in angst) snap at the heels of your sorrow/innocence.

At least we know we've served our purpose.

Author:  jonos [ Sun Mar 07, 2004 9:18 pm ]
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i feel of suicide every time dauntless utters his words,
my hands flow over my blood stained keyboard,
the blood is from my rists,
i lick my rists because i am a vampire,
i belong in hell because i fornicate with animals,
when i am in teh form of one.
does no person know of my pain,
i drove a steak through my heart,
but it was cow, and not wooden,
i am an idiot.
i am an immortal vampire and i cannot be killed.
when will my pain end,
i shot myself with a gold bullet,
when i forgot that its a silver bullet.
i am a disgrace!

Author:  Mazer [ Sun Mar 07, 2004 9:50 pm ]
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Roses are red, like blood
Violets are blue, like the bruises I get from throwing myself down the stairs after reading jonos' posts
I'm no good at poetry
And neither are you

(I'm kidding)

Author:  jonos [ Sun Mar 07, 2004 9:53 pm ]
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now i am going to commit suicide!!!!

im not serious about what i write in this, it takes me probably 30 seconds and idon't put too much thought in it, so i don't really care if you think it sucks, because i think it sucks!!!! but if you say that it sucks then i will just hvae to write some more.

Author:  Dauntless [ Mon Mar 15, 2004 11:06 pm ]
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**** the world
with its corporate marketry
Kids today rife with indecency
So caught up in your politicin'
So blind you can't see you're trippin'
Girls just in their teens
Trying already to be fashion queens
Big America trying to change the world
Liberated countries where U.S. flags unfurl
We really need to ask what's the motivation
Greed and corruption only feeds my agitation
What is a country with no values doing
"saving the day" when the media is screwing
with the people of today with shock advertisement
SARS, mad cow, anthrax,West Nile, terrorists
All excuses for Big Brother to look over your shoulder
People today don't even stop to think
Sex sells, and people listen to whatever is told to them
The growth of indecency and hypocrisy is quadratic
We legalize drugs cuz teenagers already have it
One thing feeds on another, and soon we're Sodom and Gomorrah
What's the world going to be like when you wake up tomorrow
Pedestrian tactics won't help you save the world
Overzeal and deception won't help you save the world
The answer is not to legalize or invade
Think it out if you want to make a change

Well then.

Author:  Dauntless [ Tue Mar 23, 2004 10:30 pm ]
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Visit here again, people...new recruits. Tell your friends Wink

Author:  jonos [ Tue Mar 23, 2004 10:39 pm ]
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Why must we sit and watch,
While Spain rots to the dogs,
As cowardice and ill feelings
Run rampant in all the EU's dealings,
We must stand for what we believe in,
And not fall down to those who call us heathens,
Only 4 countries can lead,
In truth and protect other's greed,
And make it safe for the other,
Countries to come in after,
And eat up the economic deals,
While those who liberated sit and reel,
Do we want them to become isolationist,
Because they will help when the anti christ,
Comes again to wreak havoc,
Among the ignorant whores we are,
While we sit and watch those countries bar,
Our cowardly asses from their dealings,
we sit and moan because we have feeling,
Now, but not when they needed our help,
We have failed the world and those who lead us from hell...

Author:  templest [ Fri Apr 09, 2004 12:32 am ]
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Quote:
pathetic fallacy is when a character exaggerates traits in nature so that they believe it is talking to them through symbolism / teen poet gets stuff out of nowhere (darkness...what darkness?).


I haven't read further to see if anyone has corrected this, but last time I checked.. pathetic fallacy was when the environment adjusts to the mood of the situation? ie: horses going insane, thunderstorms, ect in Macbeth?

yep, did a google search:
pathetic fallacy: an expression that endows inanimate things with human feelings.

Not flamebait. Just a little commentary.

Author:  Dauntless [ Fri Apr 09, 2004 12:35 am ]
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Huh. Well I guess I got the wrong idea from English class.

Author:  naoki [ Sun Apr 11, 2004 2:13 pm ]
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Templest is correct on his definition.

You could have the darkness surround a person and swirl about him, to "add" to his sense of confusion.

Author:  templest [ Mon Apr 12, 2004 12:33 am ]
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let's give it a shot... **ahem**

Bitter Heart... Lost love... and Ruined Innosense.

The deep darkness of my cold black heart hurts,
I feel do lonely and the pain from those jerks,
no one understands how I feel,
only I know that it's real,
I am invisible to many eyes,
no one cares so I just don't try,
every morning I wake up and breath,
feeling like a lost dove,
everyday I feel so naive,
for once believing that it was me she loved,
now that this love has come and gone,
why do I still feel so wrong?
This poem makes no sense,
but neither does your mom.

-Templest

Author:  Dauntless [ Mon Apr 12, 2004 3:42 pm ]
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Hear hear, a new recruit.
Welcome, brother Templest.
Templest, ooh-ha-ha!


It's not fucking easy being green
The things people say are fucking obscene
It's like, everyday people practice being mean
On me; it's not even funny

I never asked to be this particular shade
How come all the black white and yellow guys get laid?
I'll just sit here and fade
into nothingness...brutal nothingness

You think French guys have it tough
Being called a frog is barely rough
If you're not one you don't know nearly enough
about the world of pain that I live in.


Let me just take a moment to remind our readers that this thread, and other quality threads like "Rap" Battle and Derek's Philosophy were brought to you by Dauntless....look for my future campaign to enter the Spam Pantheon!

Author:  jonos [ Mon Apr 12, 2004 3:54 pm ]
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You think that you're lives are shit and do not matter,
But you haven't taken the shit I take as i hear the cool-kid's laughter,
I walk past in my black nailpolish and greasy hair,
With my white skin I don't fit in with them there.

I wish I was black because then I would fit,
Then I could rap and not have to take this shit,
I'd rather be a coward and a frog,
Then live with myself, a wet dog.

You think you're being tortured because you're green,
But Toad, you haven't been white like me or unclean,
I cut my fingers so they are scarred like I play guitar,
Cause I can't afford a plastic one because I'm a retard.

I can't find a job because of my clothes,
And because of the AK-47 under my trench-coat,
One day I might as well snap,
Blow some fucking brains so I don't have to take this crap.


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